Sleepless nights. Heart racing. Dilemma. Anxiety.
Hmm, wasn’t this supposed to be fun? And it is all my choice, too, so there is nothing that I have to do. So why was I putting myself through this? I don’t know. I told a couple of people what I was planning and once the shock had gone, the question was asked: “What do you want to achieve from doing this?”
And I still don’t know. But, to be honest, I have no end Outcome planned for this whole initiative. Perhaps it is all about just Trying New Things, finding out what I can do, what I like (or don’t), breaking out of the rut by just doing something – anything.
So, number 10.
I turned up, met up with my contact and said hi to a couple of people passing through the venue. All the time not being sure if I would go through with it. Or rather, I thought that I would (because I am stubborn, mainly) but not sure how I would feel.
Vulnerable? Scared? Embarrassed? Excitement and terror flip-flopped their way through my heart.
I changed into a lightweight dressing gown, stood between two heaters…and dropped the gown. Don’t look at anyone, look at my toes, hold the pose. Two minutes later, gown back on – someone else’s turn. Two minutes later, though, it’s back to me. Pick an easier pose, so the weight is more evenly distributed…
Have a look at the end results. Comment on the (inexperienced) artist’s work, show how he can measure the lines of the model and capture them on paper. Encourage him on the centre lines he has caught well. Ask what he finds easiest/most difficult to draw – apparently legs are tough for him, and even if there are two models in a pose, he just concentrates on one of them. The other model decides to challenge him – so he can’t avoid legs, and he can’t draw just one model…
Chat about “What is Art, and who defines it?”, divorce courts in this country, and whether or not I am going to set fire to my foot with the strength of the industrial heater. Strike angular poses and have the other model pointing out lines on me to help the newbies.
Watch one of the guys sketching as I pose: “Don’t watch what I’m drawing! The model isn’t supposed to watch – it’s embarrassing.”
The irony of that only dawned on me the next day! Would I do it again? Yes. Definitely – I had a complete blast. Does my heart flip flop in my chest again at the thought? Yes, definitely!
What have I got out of it? Fun, a chance to channel my old life drawing instructor and help a newbie, a challenge. Not sure what else. There must be something, I am sure.
Let the people know that I had done it, and showed the picture (of the drawing.) Showed another who was with us – “You know, I’ve always fancied doing that.”